Saturday, August 7, 2010


We all have theories. Here are a few of ours.

I believe that the injection of a person's name into a command or greeting is the best way to go; it has a directness and power that is incontestably lacking when said without the name. For instance, I work at a pre-school, and we are trained to use names to get kids to focus and listen. Charlie doesn't doesn't pick up his toys after playtime, the correct response according to this theory is, "Charlie one...Charlie two...Charlie three."
Instead of simply, "one...two...three."
The result is stunning and you don't need a before and after picture to show it.

Another example of this theory? In public places, a hallway, a sidewalk, a store, a studio.
A greeting between acquaintances/friends is much more pure and distinct when the name is included: 
"Hello Keela!"

I prefer the use of a name in a greeting.
It feels right and sounds right.
Join the revolution.


Everything is funnier in "quotations."
But to catch the proper humor, you MUST say the word in quotations slower and you MUST use the quotation hand movements. 
 And it's even funnier when the word in quotations doesn't have any special meaning.
We discovered this "theory" last summer while "away" over a weekend.
"Everything" is "funnier" in quotations.

It is not a secret that I hate people, in general.
I work serving people ICE CREAM, most of them should be pleasant enough, but they are just stupid most of the time, and annoying. 
Here is my theory, 
people are annoying on purpose.
Maybe not on purpose purpose but they just don't care the tiniest bit that their stupid actions have an effect on someone else.
Like me.

Example: Today I went to the Uptown Art Fair, a family tradition I hate but for some reason don't refuse to do, people literally stand in the middle of the street pointing and being obnoxious. 

What is the matter with people?


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